I don’t know you personally, and neither do you know me. But if you have been single for a long time or are just not okay with being single, then neither of us needs to know each other to know that feeling. More often than not, I am writing from personal experience, so I promise you I will understand you, and I know where you are coming from. I hope by the end of this article, I will be able to help you in some way.
You see, everything around us constantly keeps telling us that be in a relationship, and you will be happier.
Social media, films, TV series, friends who are dating, most things surrounding us just keep showing these picture-perfect couples and telling us that being in a relationship means being happy.
But we know that it is not true. The simple reason is that even if we are single, we have seen everyone around us struggle in their relationships, and if, in case you are not single for a very long time and are struggling with it, then you know that your relationship ended for a reason.
The point is that we are aware of the fact that relationships don’t guarantee happiness, and yet we want to be in one.
So why do we want to date?
Below are a few reasons why you would want to be in a relationship:
Feeling of missing out
When you are not dating someone and see everyone around you dating and having a nice relationship, you do end up feeling that you are missing out on something great, and obviously, no one would want to miss out on something great.
Not good enough
I think the biggest drawback of not dating someone is the feeling of not being good enough creeping in. It is difficult to believe that something is not wrong with you when you see everyone in a relationship or things working out for others but not for you.
It is difficult to be single if everyone keeps asking you whether or not you are single. And if you say yes, then there are chances, they will ask you to date someone, or they might say something like, “It seems as if you are going to be single forever” or may talk about their relationship. Either way, you just feel a weird pressure to find someone and date them.
Belief that a relationship or partner will bring happiness
People often think that happiness comes from having a partner, which isn’t true. That will be a lot of pressure to put on someone you will date potentially in the future. A partner can be one reason for your happiness, but they do not have to bring happiness to you. Your sole source of happiness cannot be a partner.
Now that I have covered everything about wanting to date, let’s talk about why it’s okay to be single.
Why it’s okay to be single?
For starters, the biggest advantage of being single is you learn to be comfortable with yourself. You get to see who you are, what you are made of. You become your biggest cheerleader. Now let me be super clear when I say the biggest cheerleader, I don’t mean you will love yourself and everything. That is subjective. What I mean is you will understand yourself in a way that will not make you completely hate yourself. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you will see your worth and you won’t settle just for anyone.
Secondly, it is okay to be single because being single is better than being in a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship will take away all of your energy and leave you with nothing. You may even end up becoming toxic not only for yourself but for the other people too. The smarter thing to be done is to take your time and find someone you like.
Thirdly, and this is an important one. You do not negatively depend on your partner. What I mean is that your partner won’t be the only source of happiness. When you have been single for some time, you get to know yourself, and you develop interests. You see, romantic relationships are not the only relationships, and you find different kinds of people. You may find a friend who loves movies as you do or a friend who loves trying new restaurants or maybe shopping or a friend with whom you can just go for coffee. The point here is that your partner doesn’t become your life but remains only a part of your life.
And, lastly, the most amazing advantage is you find your interests, likes and dislikes. You find things you genuinely like doing, and you enjoy spending time with yourself. And honestly, everyone needs a break from the world and other people every once in a while, and everyone needs things to do which help them relax. Being single lets you become a person on your own, and you know what calms you down and helps you and what doesn’t.
Look, being single can be difficult even if you know it is okay to be single. But at the end of the day, it is your life. It’s great to date someone, but it’s even okay not to.
It doesn’t matter if you are coming out of a relationship or have never been in one, things take time, people take time. I am not saying the person you will date eventually will be the one or something, I am just saying that date someone worth your time. Do not date someone because you are under some kind of social pressure. The world will forever try to make you hate your situation. Those who are dating are told being single is easier, and those who are single are told being in a relationship is better. The world will always try to tell you what to do, but you do what you genuinely want to do.
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