“Mom always says friends will come and go, but family is forever”Diary of a wimpy kid, hard luck
Wikipedia defines family as – “…a group of people related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or affinity (by marriage or other relationship).”
The definition holds true in a literal sense but family is more than that. Family is forever; it is love, care, concern, and tantrums, but still never letting go.
A family usually has a set of parents and a child or children and maybe grandparents. Every family is defined by its own individual members with his or her own uniqueness and value. Every member brings a certain ability to the table.
Your mum is the only person who will stick by your side even if you are trialed for murder. Your Dad? He is the unfathomable, strongest pillar supporting the roof of your emotions and the spine supporting your back. Your brother and/or sister? Sure they could be annoying at times, but they will be there to discuss your most cramping and awkward problems. Even if your sibling is younger than you, he’ll see what you are going through and come ask you.
You’ll feel better talking about it (promise), and in doing so who knows you might find the solution. Their innocence hides a solution to the most complex of problems. Let’s be honest, the seemingly most complex situations had ordinary solutions.
You cannot be luckier if you get to live with your grandparents. Them caring for you is the ultimate sweetness to life. Their treats, their stories from their times and them saving you from your parent’s rage.. : p. Unfortunately, they’ve become memories for me.
Though members in a family are not defined by their relevance – children are the focus anywhere. They are protected from almost every kind of condition and cared for at every step. In the long run, this might make the child feel very dependent and not in control.
Family and adulting
A lot of children feel suppressed when they are their parent’s home, they look for an out. Becoming self-sufficient is definitely liberation of a kind, but at the same time, it brings along responsibilities to handle and life seem all fun and games till you fall ill or have a bad day at work. You open the door for yourself and walk in the darkness, the void the darkness presents, depresses you even more. At this point in time, you want the loving arms your mother around you and the caring words of your father to help you back up. At this point in time, you realize that without family you aren’t much.
Your friends, associates might drop by every now and then, but it’s not the same as someone who would not leave. Your family is your spiritual security. If you don’t have the concern, care, and support of a family, you don’t have much at all. This foundation you stand on is built on the shoulders of your parents.
To have children or not have children?
Some time ago a cousin expressed his concern over having children. His dilemma dealt with how children require a lot of necessary attention and care and how to meet these parents go to extreme lengths at times putting their career on the backseat, almost tying the parents down; how a parent has to be careful while giving his children the right lessons on life; how the parent gets blamed for the wrong their child has committed and, all those expenses they need to handle throughout their education, they have to worry about the child’s upbringing and career … and so on.
His argument was – if so much stress can be avoided and so much money can be spent ‘well’, then why have kids? Being a Gen Z too, his argument seemed valid to me. However, it wasn’t until I came across this well-written excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie my perspective saw the opposite side of selfishness –
“Have children. You have to experience this feeling of having complete responsibility for a human being. Someone to fill your void. You can’t do this with family, friends, or lover. “
The joy of being a parent
Having a child, caring for the baby from the moment you realized you’re going to be a mum or a dad, attending to their needs, tantrums, and stubbornness, watching them grow through their mistakes, setbacks, rebounds, and heartbreaks, all the while being at their side and seeing him transform into an adult is unselfishly giving all of you without the expectation of anything in return – is the purest happiness in the world. It teaches you what no kind of formal education can absolutely ever teach you or any kind of vivid experience.
A family is not just love, it’s knowing that someone you know is watching your back the whole time; it’s letting others know that there is someone watching out for them and sincerely trusts them and wishes them well.