8 Effective Ways To Resolve The Conflict


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Real and ideal self

Many times, you might have thought in your mind that what you are doing in real you didn’t expect to do so, and you cannot get or do what you wanted to. This type of thinking process is termed the conflict between your real and ideal self in psychology.

The real self refers to the reality that is real and happening, which isn’t just in your mind, whereas the ideal self refers to what you desired and expected to do [ what you wanted], but it didn’t happen in reality. This type of situation occurs in every individual’s life; one can have 100% accomplish their desires or expectations.

In this article, we will be focusing on eight ways by which you can resolve your internal conflicts.

8 Effective Ways To Resolve The Conflict

Source: quiet revolution

1. Fewer expectations

Woman sitting on the street.
Source: Thrive Global

You would have always heard from your elders that you should keep fewer expectations, or even if you can fulfil your expectations, the elder ones say don’t feel so excited or happy. This is the truth and a fact of life that if there is a happy moment today, then there will be a sad day in the future too.

We should never set our expectations very high because you don’t know what the future is; it will be heartbreaking if the results don’t meet your expectations. So always expect less and enjoy more.

2. Acceptance

Source: myTherapyNYC

This is the other most effective way to get rid of conflicts and be happy in your life; when you start accepting the situations or things, you worry less, and you don’t deal with any conflict in your mind.

For instance- If you just broke up with your part, you must be feeling depressed and stressed, but if you accept the fact that they don’t love you anymore, it will be easy for you to move on and cope with the situation you were feeling depressed because you were expecting or wanting them to love you back.

3. Learn from mistakes

Girl making mistake
Source: Roots of action

Many people cry over their mistakes, conflicting in mind why they made them, they should not have done this, but mistakes are also a part of our lives. As mentioned above, we should accept them because we can’t go into the past and correct it.

Learn from your mistakes. If you did something wrong once, you should try to improve that in the future rather than crying and conflicting with your mind.

4. Optimistic/ Positive approach

Source: Guideposts

Keeping an optimistic attitude helps you grow in life because if you keep thinking pessimistically, you won’t be able to grow or do anything in your life; you will just be stuck in your head and won’t pay attention to the good things and blessings around you.

Keeping an optimistic attitude brings more clarity in your life; you don’t feel stuck or stressed. You feel stress-free.

5. Motivation

Motivated man
Source: Lifehack

If you fail in your final exams, of course, you will be feeling upset and stressed at that time, there must be a huge dilemma, and a lot of conflicts will be running through your mind. 

For some time, feeling upset is fine, but if you don’t stop thinking it over, it can even make you sick. In this situation, a person must try to feel motivated like it’s okay if I fail this time, but I will surely pass next year; this type of attitude reduces stress and conflicts in mind.

6. Work Hard

Man pushing a rock up a hill
Source: Forbes

Conflicts between real and ideal self usually arise due to expectation factors, you can’t always fulfil your expectations, but at least you can try your best to achieve them.

Working hard for your dreams or to fulfil your expectations gives satisfaction to your mind that it’s okay if you can’t reach the desired outcome, but at least you tried the hardest to get it.

For instance, if you want to clear the UPSC exam and you are studying day and night religiously for it, you just lost it with three marks, whether you could remove it or not, but your mind got satisfied that you gave your best.

7. Exercise

Source: The Today Show

It would be best if you indulged yourself in any exercise this keeps your excitement levels controlled such as cardio, aerobics and you can even go to a gym. This will also help you with your conflicts with a mind like you may not feel stressed or anxious.

8. Practising Mindfulness

Mindful people
Source: Zero to three

Mindfulness is a type of meditation; you have to concentrate on your present while focusing between both the eyes and letting all the thoughts come and go. You don’t have to hold any of them.

By mindfulness, you will be able to control your thoughts and thinking process; it will give you all the celerity you need for a peaceful mind.


If you follow these ways religiously and with a positive approach in your mind that you can resolve the conflicts between the real and the ideal self, you will surely be able to do so. These all ways will keep you stress-free and free from all the conflicts you will be able to think more clearly and creatively.

Read also – 7 Ways To Maintain Well-Being In Life