I agree with my friend Oscar here. It drives me insane to just look at how calm and composed people are or try to be (to say the least). If only keeping calm were that easy. Just to Woosah the crap out of life like Martin Lawrence’s anger management guru suggested would have been a quick fix. But LOL it out because that doesn’t help. Like how could you be so calm and also preach calmness to others knowing the fact that the paper is due tomorrow and you have prepared nothing but a big fat Zilch?
That zen and calm state of mind is definitely a big bulldozer to ride. With the daily situations that happen around us, the “Keep Calm and Carry On” mantra has become a bit annoying to be honest. The Avneet within herself loses it like half the time. But the superficial shell outside always has herself together. Or so it seems.
Is Calm Really a Thing?
To be totally brutal and burst your pink bubble of ecstasy, no person could be labeled as Calm in and out. For sure people have calm and patient personalities but this is just the way they handle themselves when things go haywire. These so-called “calm people”, by default have calmness or patience as their defense mechanism. Everybody has their own defense mechanisms in place. Calmness, weirdly being one of that with some people. A calm person would be one who has zero worries, zero things and people bugging him/her, zero deadlines and zero stress. Ever heard of someone of the sort? Probably No.
You are not born calm. You train your mind to feel calmness.
Calm in The Face of Storm
Google the word “calm” and the first definition is “not showing or feeling, anger, or other strong emotions.” This definition has two contradictions to it. Lemme break, break, break it up for you. Calmness as seen from the first half (“not showing”) can be made up or forced from within.
Hence calmness is a virtue that can be inculcated.
On the other hand, moving to the second half of the definition (“not feeling”) has an icky vibe to it. In the face of turbulence, one is bound to feel disturbed or angered or at least Something! If you don’t feel the need to react to any and every strong emotion or a dis balanced situation, then Kudos to you ! Such people have mastered the art of a pretentious put up. Here, feelings are mustered up but not even a spec of sweat or a raised eyebrow appears on the surface as a response.
When the calm and peaceful realm of the mind takes charge, you automatically are gifted with the superpower to see the loopholes and the bigger picture altogether. As a consequence, calm people are able to gracefully drag themselves out of a foxhole, while maintaining that poker face mold. Observing a calm person would notice how much practice it takes to have emotions tamed. This comes with a lot of perseverance.
4 Steps on How To Develop Calmness
Find your happy place. When you are able to find this happy place in your mind, you have done 80% of the job. All you have to do is visit this happy place when things get tough.
Meditation helps a lot. When you sit with yourself contemplating your thoughts, a certain sense of clarity and responsibility surrounds you.
Don’t rush with emotions. Whenever you are in an intense situation, try counting till 10 and reverse. Now pan everything with a cool mind frame.
Think before acting out. observe your audience, the impact your reaction would have and the color that would be painted on you.