A breakup hurts pretty bad. Doesn’t it? Everyone has lost someone, they loved with all their heart. But people can’t be begged to stay. This trend of ‘dumping’ and ‘moving on’ is very common nowadays. The depth of love and the passion it holds is an old wives tale. Nonetheless, we feel your pain and we have brought to you ways to cope with a breakup. Stick with us till the end and you will definitely find some solution to that aching heart of yours!
Why Breakups Hurt So Bad?
Doctors say that the psychological pain after a breakup is equal to the physical pain. It hurts so bad. Yikes!
The reasons for a fall out in a relationship can be endless. But the suffering that comes after is the same for all. Some take it better than the others while some need a little help. It is tough to let the other person move on without you. The initial days are the worst.
We are here for you. Take a look at our ways below which you can use after a breakup.
#1 Find Solace in Friends
It is not a healthy practice to ditch your friend circle when in a relationship. Neither it is acceptable to dump your relationship for your friends. They both should go hand in hand. No competition of any sort should prevail. Definitely friends should be your first resort after a breakup.
Friends will not only share your pain but will greatly help to reduce it too. Talk it out and convey your thoughts and feelings. Bottling up emotions is definitely something to avoid.
Even if you don’t feel like it, hang out with a few good friends. Your breakup should not necessarily be the topic of discussion. Go out for a walk, sit for coffee, share your thoughts and you will absolutely come up with a solution to loneliness. Discuss your plans with your friends and ask them for advice.
#2 Don’t Gossip After Your Breakup
The worst things that follow a breakup are the lies and gossip that spread about. It is totally uncalled for and will lead to hatred. Lies and cooked up stories to belittle or shame your ex, is a productive habit. Plus it becomes a sort of a cycle. Breakups should just end with goodbyes. Washing your dirty laundry in public is free entertainment and drama for all. Move on with your life, post breakup. Live and let live.
#3 Divide Your Stuff
A mutual separation between two mature people is the best breakup and closure that you can ask for. If there is property (movable and immovable), or pets, children, or anything else, sit down to divide it up. Claiming stuff months after your breakup will bring nothing but more bitterness.
#4 Keep it or Donate it
Obviously with the sheer number of sentiments attached to the things that you purchase in a relationship, it becomes difficult to put up with them. Many people after a breakup, go the counterproductive way and choose to burn, break, tear or destroy stuff. It might seem like absolute pleasure, but what good does it serve? Probably nothing. Either keep the stuff, and make use of it. Otherwise, have a big heart and donate it. There are many who have problems bigger than a breakup and could really use some help.
#5 Find a Good Distraction
The word ‘distraction’ has a lot of connotations attached to it. Going on a hunt for the next person after a breakup isn’t healthy. You need time to heal and it is a process you need to execute yourself. Don’t find others and employ them to do this job for you.
Distraction after a breakup just means a hobby, work or anything productive that you can engage in. The point being, that such a thing could channel your energies in the right direction and learn to let go. But face your emotions and know how you actually feel.
#6 Que Sera Sera – Whatever Will Be Will Be
Some people are more sensitive than the others, while the rest don’t seem to be that affected. Breakups affect everyone differently. Thinking too much about the one that got away, isn’t going to bring you any results. Pondering over what went wrong and where is just futile.
Go with the flow and move on. Accept the fact that plans are prone to failing. Learn to live happily in the moment. It is definitely hard after a breakup but you ought to pick yourself up. Make efforts where they give results and leave the rest to fate.
#7 Channel Your Anger and Sorrow
The most common emotion after a breakup is that of anger. Anger for failing in a relationship, anger for failing the other person, etc. It is an acceptable behavior. But anger to an extent where you hurt yourself or the ones around you is madness.
Put yourself in counseling if you feel anger is the most dominant emotion after your breakup. There is also the emotion of sorrow that follows through. Cry if you feel like. But unnecessarily drowning in sorrow is not a solution either.
#8 Learn to Forgive
Finding faults, playing the blame game and pointing fingers after your breakup will give you zilch. If all your attempts to patch things up have failed, then to let go is all you have.
To err is human, to forgive divine.
Follow this virtue and be the bigger person. Plus you ought to own up to your mistakes. This is the best closure post breakup.
Breakups are a part of life. It is acceptable that you move one and take lessons from whatever you go through. Feeling melancholic after your breakup is pretty natural and getting over a person is also a tough job. Pick up courage and highlight all venues of positivity that you can grab.
Take a hint and follow through our healthy ways to move on after a breakup as mentioned above and see the changes they bring about. No matter how hard your breakup might be, our ways are sure to provide you with some sense of comfort and calmness. Read our article on how to be a zen person here. Also drop a comment if liked what you just read.